The capability and incapability to Judge

Now trust me, when I tell you… that I will not judge you, for your weakness, your failure, your sins, your humanity… trust me when I say I do not judge you.

For I know, like the sinner, the prisoner that I am, you are no worse off than me. Even in the facade or perhaps the realization of my persona as the good Christian girl, which I embody and also act out, I cannot judge you, am not able to judge you… for I know very very well, the struggles you face, friend. Trust me, Friend. I don’t judge you. For if you had murdered, had fallen, had stolen, had lied… have I not done the same? For if you had sexual relations before marriage, if you had an affair, if you had raped someone… am I not a person who is capable of the same thing if not more. I am a sinner waiting to be judged, a sinner waiting to sin and it is the realization that I have not fallen only by GOD’s infinite grace… that keeps me humble.

So Friend, I do not and cannot judge you. I cannot, for would I not be judging myself, my future or potential or past self? I know well enough the sinful nature of man to tell you, I do not judge you. I empathize deeply.

Even when people say or see that good Christian girl outside of me, and I recognize that outwardly I am a Christian girl, born into a Christian family, that knows the bible, can speak of it, have memory of it, share in the fellowship of believers, seeking to serve God constantly and all that you may see or not see as Christian…. I never forgot my sinful humanity.

YET

I judge you, if you are a Christian.. who dishonors my God. Who proclaim Christian words and deeds yet hurts the poor and manipulates the needy. I know that everyone remains in the process of sanctification, but I realize that I judge when you do it willingly and ignorantly (when you know it is wrong through the prompting of the Spirit but continue in your charade of morality or when you refuse to even let the Spirit prompt you!).

I empathize with you. I know the struggle. What I hate in you I hate in myself!! Yet, I judge you if you proclaim Christ, yet seeks to dishonor His teachings (say, on relationships). I judge you if you proclaim yourself a super Christian, yet take advantage of those around you. I judge you because I love my God and hate… Hate such… dishonor to His name. I don’t judge you because I am better than you… I judge you when your actions cause those around you to despair of God’s love and mercy that he so wonderfully bestowed upon us, the sinful us!.

Yet although I hate what you have done, I also hate my own incapability… inability… uselessness… my evil sinful nature that fails to find victory. I cannot and have no excuse to glorify my own weakness.

Here I stand, admitting, my capability and incapability to judge. For I run in this mock circle of not judging for I know (the struggle of sin), judging for I know (the Bible and His Word), and not judging for I know (my own sin that I accuse you of). I stand in the seat of mockers and kneel in the place of Martyrs.

But trust me Friend, although I judge and don’t judge, trust me, that if you tell me you have done the worse things and feel that even God could not forgive you, trust me, I will not judge you for what you have done. And God says he will forgive when we repent (1John 1) and I, along with you, everyday, I am challenged to trust God and come to Him in all humility.

A parting note of Psalms 89, 90 and 91.

38 But you have rejected, you have spurned,

you have been very angry with your anointed one.

39 You have renounced the covenant with your servant

and have defiled his crown in the dust.

40 You have broken through all his walls

and reduced his strongholds to ruins.

41 All who pass by have plundered him;

he has become the scorn of his neighbors.

42 You have exalted the right hand of his foes;

you have made all his enemies rejoice.

43 You have turned back the edge of his sword

and have not supported him in battle.

44 You have put an end to his splendor

and cast his throne to the ground.

45 You have cut short the days of his youth;

you have covered him with a mantle of shame.

(Psalm 89)

7 We are consumed by your anger

and terrified by your indignation.

8 You have set our iniquities before you,

our secret sins in the light of your presence.

(Psalm 90)

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—

even the Lord, who is my refuge—

10 then no harm will befall you,

no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,

so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;

you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;

I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;

I will be with him in trouble,

I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him

and show him my salvation.”

(Psalm 91)

In this, let us remember that one thing we are called to do.. to Love Him.

And in that, I am called and challenged ever once more, to wake up and trust.. that even as I had given Him my life and love… that He would stand before me as promised. And in so, my secret Sin, I want to, I give it all up for You.

5 The heavens praise your wonders, O Lord,

your faithfulness too, in the assembly of the holy ones.

6 For who in the skies above can compare with the Lord?

Who is like the Lord among the heavenly beings?

7 In the council of the holy ones God is greatly feared;

he is more awesome than all who surround him.

8 O Lord God Almighty, who is like you?

You are mighty, O Lord, and your faithfulness surrounds you.

(Psalm89)

Mi-yue

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