Things that the single Christian girl think and does but has never really been said out loud before:-
1) A beautiful partner as a blessing for the faithful man
Doesn’t it feel that every other Christian male leader or even Biblical Hero recounts his beautiful partner and spouse as a blessing from God for waiting/obedience/sexual purity. It feels that God only gives those Christian men you fall for pretty/cute/attractive girls as reward for their faithfulness. What does that make the homely, humble Christian girl looking for a partner? Seriously. How many Christian articles you’ve read where about 90% of the authors, who find their spouses eventually, saying “I’m glad I waited, I met my beautiful wife in the long run etc”. Yeah, maybe it’s an individual preference thing, or maybe she’s just the beautiful Rachel for the patient Jacob. (Mind you, not saying all Biblical heroes get that treatment. Let’s not argue on theology too much here, aye)
2) Sighh, that typical Christian Guy
We all kinda have that stereotype of the perfect Christian guy: Christian, saved (cos Christianity and being truly saved doesn’t mean the same thing every time, sadly), veritably in love and passionate for God, seeking sanctification and someone who can help you grow in faith. It would also help if he was attractive, active in the ministry (oooh, can he strum AND pluck to that Hillsong song! Yummm), a loving brother, son etc and great with kids and animals (My children’s future father, le sighssss ❤).
Unfortunately, it makes for an awkward situation when all your single Christian girlfriends invariably fall for that crush too. And an even sadder revelation when that “perfect” Christian guy invariably fall for the pretty attractive Christian girls with similar aforesaid qualities (preferably slim, long haired, leader, good singer, good with kids etc).
3) Oh dear, those things we do
In fact, it feels that the only way we can get that “guy” is to hopefully ask God to open that dude’s perfect eyes and see us cleaning the church surreptitiously or maybe playing with a child right when he walks past (Giggle you wee little thing!! Giggle in glee NOW!!!), hoping he can see what a great catch and what a wonderful Christian wife and mother you’ll make.
4) But- But- I’m a Great Catch!
You think you’re a great catch: You love God, you’re good with kids, you can cook, clean, passionate for the ministry, read your bible everyday,recite 1 and 2 Chronicles in chronicle, play for church’s worship service, wear tiny cross on your petite or maybe not so petite neck, cover every part of your body nicely, beautiful singing voice, not so bad-looking if you might say so yourself and….well, let’s assume you have most/some of these qualities.
But the point is, you don’t have all those qualities. So maybe you’re not perfect and you can rationalize your loneliness. But your girlfriends and even some guy friends think you’re quite the catch. Tired of hearing “I wish you were a guy…” , you start to think about dabbling into homosexuality which seems much more fulfilling for you (comfort, intimacy, a partner who really understands).
Alright, I’m being extreme… but still, you guys know what I mean.
What’s reaallllllyy Your Point, Mi-yue?
Some of you might go, “Oh Shut Up, Mi-yue! I’m gonna get my special man someday. I’m waiting for that right guy to drop by and open his eyes! So what if no one notices how awesome I am. God knows. And honestly, I can spend more time with God and the ministry now!” (the last bit, invariably arguable, as it denotes that you’ll spend less time with God and his ministry when you’re married. I prefer the term: serving in another ministry, the ministry of marriage and family. Buuuut regardless of what ministry you’re in, it all counts to God’s kingdom)
Glad you feel like that! But I know, that one those days when these words aren’t as convincing, just a friendly reminder from a Single Christian girl to another.
1) There isn’t anything wrong with you
Honestly, if I were a guy, I would make an awesome boyfriend. Really. I would date me. And one of the reasons for why most of my girlfriends wish I were a guy, it’s because I see the beauty in every girl. I would like to say that I’m pretty decent in my makeup skills, and as an artist, I enjoy looking at the individual beauty each person has. In fact, I believe the true purpose of make-up is just to emphasize that beauty that is already there.
Each of you are beautiful in your own way, and well… I can appreciate that.
In fact, not only do I find every girl has that one thing beautiful about them, I enjoy meeting girls with beautiful inner beauty. Every time a girl cries, blush shyly, eyes downcast, is insecure, needs a hug, smiles awkwardly, acts goofy, sings out of tune but with all her heart, and all those weird thing you do… I find beauty in that. Every time a girl stands up for her faith, places others before her and her own well-being, her kindness causing her to rather braid an orphan’s hair than her own bushy one… those are things I can appreciate… and I think I might have loved her if I was a guy. You see, the point is, there is in every girl I met so far, something that I can love. And for that right guy, I’m guessing he’ll love it more that me and that includes your cute flaws.
2) I’ll never get to experience intimacy etc. I’m gonna be SINGLE FOREVER and not that I wannnttttt tooo
You might, you might not be single for life. Really. There’s no way anyone can answer that. But realizing that this idea of love and soul mates as pretty much a social constructs help in breaking away from those romantic ideals of what relationships should be. In fact, loads of stories from the Bible aren’t necessarily about Romeos and Juliets everywhere. Relevant Magazine’s website has some pretty decent articles on this that you might want to check out =)
Regardless, intimacy with a person doesn’t mean you need to have that one gender. Having a close relationship with your sisters in Christ or your contacts under you are also another aspect of intimacy that we tend to overlook.
3) ='( I’m lonely and everyone around me either has a boyfriend or had boyfriend(s)(ssssss)
Well, I can’t really answer that, but we have someone who loves us a lot and that’s God. I still can’t get over the fact that God had declared his love for us way before the universe was created, and it was an eternal love that spends ETERNITY to ETERNITY. (see this)
I mean seriously, human love kinda just spans your existence on earth and if we understand the Bible regarding Things you feel and do in Heaven, we’re all gonna be pretty much asexual like les Angels up there.
Yes, I’m getting to the point now. The point is, having God is way better than all that loving a human dude can give you. If anything, relationships are mere reflections of Christ’s love for his people and the Church. But that reflection is a mere blur reflection on water. In all clarity and HD-ness, God’s love stands oh so brightly and if you’re starting to think that you’re willing to trade such sincere pure Love for something not even guaranteed…. than maybe you’re single for a reason and maybe you need to start thinking about your love and relationship for God
So cheerios you single Girls you! Have a blast for now, and you know what…. to get your mind off this boring yet almost monthly dilemma, I’m going to give you a task.
1) Hug a Christian girlfriend of yours and ask “How’s her day?”
2) Send/Sms/Whatsapp/Facebook a bible verse to one of your friend.
3) Call a relative to ask how’s he/she doing
4) Eat a brownie. Unless you’re lactose-intolerant or hate sweets. Then eat an orange. Makes you reflect on the sometimes sweet and sour nature of life.
Okay, noowwww I’m starting to get out of point.
Signing off and hope to write soon,